Building Trust with Ourselves


When's the last time you put something on the calendar for yourself - maybe a yoga class, a sound-bath meditation, or a good book? 

Here's the thing - so commonly I see in my clients, and in my default state as a coach, we are so willing to fall short of our own expectations for ourselves. We would rather please externally than turn inward.  

Why is that? 

It's because we so often attempt to motivate ourselves to do things with shame. We encourage thoughts like, "you should really read, instead of watching T.V. - you watch too much" or "you should really wake up and go to the haven't worked out all week."

Well, let me tell you - this is quite possibly the least productive way to motivate ourselves. 

It is when I indulge in my "shoulds" that I don't do anything for myself. 

So let's spin this around.

Why don't we work on getting really curious instead?

What would it be like to spend two weeks fully committed to ourselves and our positive habits?

What would it feel like to work out three times a week, to try new healthy meals each day? What would it be like to commit to going on that run for ourselves?

Seriously, commit to 14 days of getting REALLY curious on how it would feel to honor your word to yourself.

This thought alone changed my life. I let go of my addiction to stress, overdrinking when I was uncomfortable, and using ADHD medication. I slowly chucked away at forming new, positive habits. 

My advice - try ONE thing for the first 14 days. Don't overwhelm yourself. Get curious on what it would feel like to have a healthy exercise routine, or eating habits, etc. for 14 days. That's it.

This will give you steam, and momentum to keep going. You can even choose to apply this twice a month - choosing one new item each time (i.e. maybe it's meditating, decluttering, etc.) and committing to it for those 14 days. Eventually, you will find those commitments, of working out, healthy eating, etc. begin to stick - and far less effort is needed.


So, I recommend sitting down and making a list of things you are putting up with RIGHT NOW. For me, it was overdrinking in discomfort, clutter, stress, frantic mornings, etc.

I took each item and decided how to create something from it - i.e. calmness, minimalism, planning, morning rituals - and with each item I built in easy actions/tiny steps to apply for 14 days.

For example, with calmness, I decided I wanted to implement 5-15 minutes of meditation each day. I stuck to this for 14 days, and eventually it became a wired part of my day (although the time fluctuates). Additionally, I worked on overriding overdrinking when uncomfortable by continuously asking myself in those settings - "what would it be like to not overdrink and to have fun and remember everything about the night?" - the answer has always been - MORE enjoyable, with less pain the next day.

For minimalism, I committed to 14 days of giving 2 items away each day (sometimes the number varied - i.e. I forgot one day, and gave 4 items away etc.). The result - liberation!

For planning, I committed to each Sunday setting time aside to plan for the week and review my calendar, and each morning setting the plan for the day (vision, mindset, strategy). This allowed me to ease up on stress because I was proactive and intentional with my days!

For morning rituals, I am still NOT a routine person, but I've learned to own this, rather than force it. I decided to commit to 1-2 things each morning that are non-negotiable and get me into alignment. For the first week, I stuck to one thing (gratitude journal) and the second week I implemented another (coffee/breakfast at home). I love this one, and I allow it to flux between 1-3 things depending on my schedule!

So think about, sit down and list the things you're putting up with & identify what you can create for yourself instead. How can you take back the control